KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH THE BIOLOGICAL FAMILY
Of course is not always possible to keep in touch with the family or even to know about them, but when there is the chance to know there is the responsibility to decide to be in touch or not.
The stories of the adopted children are so different that I guess is not possible to tell if to be in touch is good or not for all of the children.
Something is sure, all of them will ask themselves when they grow up about their family, why they have been separated from the biological family and probably many other questions that I can not guess. And the ones that have the answers of the questions are the biological relatives.
Not all of the children want to know personally the biological relatives, but probably most of them would like to have an image of them, to know how they look like or to have a satisfactory explanation about the reasons why it was no possible to grow up with them.
In the same way the parents or other relatives that can not take care of their children would like to know how they are. Who are the adoptive parents, if they learn in a good school or if they have good results. specially if they were too poor or sick to be able to grow up them. I remember a mother asking me "I have no news from my child... I would like to know if he is still alive, if he is doing well". I guess they know that to give a child in adoption means that they have no right to get news, but something is the legal way and something else is the heart.
The children I have seen visiting their biological parents normally they are happy to meet the relatives but for them is clear where is their place (with the adoptive family). It open a door for the questions in the future and it give the chance not to loose them. Sometimes, after a lot of time, when the questions come, is too late to find anyone there.
Of course is not always possible to keep in touch with the family or even to know about them, but when there is the chance to know there is the responsibility to decide to be in touch or not.
The stories of the adopted children are so different that I guess is not possible to tell if to be in touch is good or not for all of the children.
Something is sure, all of them will ask themselves when they grow up about their family, why they have been separated from the biological family and probably many other questions that I can not guess. And the ones that have the answers of the questions are the biological relatives.
Not all of the children want to know personally the biological relatives, but probably most of them would like to have an image of them, to know how they look like or to have a satisfactory explanation about the reasons why it was no possible to grow up with them.
In the same way the parents or other relatives that can not take care of their children would like to know how they are. Who are the adoptive parents, if they learn in a good school or if they have good results. specially if they were too poor or sick to be able to grow up them. I remember a mother asking me "I have no news from my child... I would like to know if he is still alive, if he is doing well". I guess they know that to give a child in adoption means that they have no right to get news, but something is the legal way and something else is the heart.
The children I have seen visiting their biological parents normally they are happy to meet the relatives but for them is clear where is their place (with the adoptive family). It open a door for the questions in the future and it give the chance not to loose them. Sometimes, after a lot of time, when the questions come, is too late to find anyone there.
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